I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
