Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I have so many feelings about this burrito
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
