i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
