How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
