I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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