well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
