Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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