Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
