go do what you do best...puke behind churches
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize
