Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Randomize
