New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
