Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
