why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
