FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
