He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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