Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
