We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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