omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
