You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
