It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
