If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
