Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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