Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
smell my finger.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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