Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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