What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
