Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
