i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
