so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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