There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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