I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I need moral support for this bender
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
