yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
