Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
