my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
