I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
