So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
