don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
