About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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