at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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