I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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