It was confusing and full of hummus
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
