you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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