The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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