dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
