did you get engaged???
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
