If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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