let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
