she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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