My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Dick very happy bro
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