she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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