so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
